Friends may come and go, but why?

Friends. Where would we be without them? What would we be without them...and WHY do friends hurt us the most? i just dont get it, and i probably never will.


in the time span of 2 days, two women that i considered friends, cut me out of their lives, hurting me in the process. My friends are what have kept me going for years. Friends are different than family. Its funny, why would we say something to friends, that we'd never think of saying to family? These two people that have chosen to hurt me so much, probably havent thought that cutting ties with me was a big deal. not to them at least. but to me? BIG DEAL.

i have always been sensitive when it comes to my friends. what they say can either lift me up, and make me smile, or can drop me down, and reduce me to a blubbering mass of tears. Is this wrong? Should i be so sensitive? I mean, is it wrong to worry about what your friends think? say? do? Yes! i have maintained friendships for a long time. some as far back as 1969. i can count on one hand the number of friendships i have lost, counting the two i've lost in the past couple of days. I do anything i can to keep these friendships.

i even emailed both of them, hoping to keep their friendship. Why did i do this? because that is just the way i am. i do whatever it takes to keep the friendship going. i didnt initiate cutting the ties, and if it were reversed, i would never do to them what they have done to me. i honestly dont understand the reasons for what they've done.I would never allow anyone to hurt my friends, as they are what keeps me going when things are bad, and family just doesnt understand. I just dont get it. And yet, i'll still go on, and be the best friend i can be. But dont get me wrong, i'm hurt, very hurt. People make choices, even if they are wrong. *shrug*

Speaking of losing friends, i lost a good friend yesterday. My buddy Joe Wilcox, whom i've known since 1977. He played darts back in the day with me. He, his wife Krissy and i were very good friends. We played on the South Bay All Star dart team together, played tournaments together, and i was even present during the birth of his child some 20 years ago. He made me laugh, and he was a male best friend. It breaks my heart that i'm getting older and more and more of my friends are passing away.
this is joe


Maybe i'm just sad this week. it was the 18th anniversary of my dads death, Joe died, and then, i lost two friends within days of each other. Maybe next week will be better! yes! it will be! my taxes are done, and i'm getting a considerable amount back. My new scanner should be here, and i can scan my mountain of photos and put them on picturetrail. Things hopefully are looking up, but as for now? i'm having a pityparty, and i dont have a thing to wear.