Monday, February 16, 2009

My daddy is the best daddy ever

This blog is about the life and death of my father. Please take the time to read this.

February 17th. Its that time of year, when i dedicate my blog to the most wonderful man I have ever known, my daddy. Henry Jordan Bosang. He passed away 18 years ago on the 17th. It was, without a doubt, the most devastating day of my life. While i had already experienced death, when my mom died in 1984, losing my dad was different. we had been a team. We cared for my mother while she was dying from cancer and lung disease. After she passed in 1984, it was him and i. So, when he died, a big part of me went with him. he was my best buddy, my hero, my friend.

Growing up, my dad was the dad that all of the other kids in the neighborhood wanted to have. He played jokes, participated in games, scared the shit out of all of us, and we'd go back screaming for more. my dad could imitate Donald Duck. He could pretend to separate his thumb from his hand, or pretend to pull our noses off with his fingers. and we ALL fell for it! On our summer drives cross country from San Diego to Richmond VA, he'd pull the funniest stunt on my brother and i. he'd announce 'Who has the smallest fingers?' my brother and i would scream 'I DO I DO' holding up our fingers for him to see. Then he would say 'Here i've got a booger in my nose, whoever has the smallest finger, can you get it out?'. we fell for that EVERY single summer!

He was a tough guy, but behind that rough exterior was a man that could melt a girls heart. One year, when i was 10, he built my brother and i a go-kart. it was just a simple one. No brakes or engine, just a rope to turn the wheels to the right or left. I got to ride it first, and got it ready to go down our street, which was a small slant of a hill. He pushed me off, and down i went, screaming like i was being murdered. nevermind, that i could have walked faster than i coasted in that go-kart. i forgot to steer, and next thing i know i'm headed for the curb. Did i remember him telling me, NOT to put my feet out to stop it? nope. The curb came closer, and out went my feet, and before i knew it, my ankle came between the wheel and the curb. blood was everywhere, and i was screaming bloody murder. He came running down the street, and ordered me to stand up. He let me have it for putting my feet out, and ordered me to walk home. I cried all the way home (4 houses LOL). i was sure he was the worst dad in the world. BUT, an hour later, he came in my room with an ice bag, and a necklace that he bought at Kresges.

This man also had a wicked sense of humor. He used to yell out when the trash men came by, saying that he had a daughter that was available for marriage! One year, right after my mom died, he flew to see his sister in Virginia. This woman, is very uptight, and very religious. When he was on the plane, he was seated next to a black woman who was 15 months pregnant. they got to talking, and he asked her if she would help him play a joke on his sister when they arrived. This woman was all for it. When they arrived in Washington DC, dad had his arm around this woman, and introduced the woman as his girlfriend. He said the look on my aunts face was hysterical!

I do have to share the end of my dads life with you. I will tell you, that i was proud to have been with this man through until the end. He was diagnosed with Stage 4 colorectal cancer. he fought it for a year before it took him from me. The way he fought his battle, taught me how to be brave when i fought my cancer battle.

His last day on earth was a difficult one for me. Dad was up all day every day, not really aware of his surroundings. I was caring for him myself, and it was a LOT of work. No, i wasnt complaining, i was sad because i couldnt do it all myself. So, in order for me to get one day of rest, i put him in the hospital. I sent him on a Friday, and was going to pick him up on Sunday. Saturday afternoon, Scott and I visited him, and i told him i would be back to see him later on that day. After we visited him, we went for dinner and a drink at a dart bar that my friend owned. While relaxing i got a phone call from my brother. i answered it, and all he said was 'Dads dead'. i collapsed, screaming and crying. Just because you know its near the end, it does NOT make it any easier to accept.i handled the funeral arrangements. We had a very dignified military service at Fort Rosecrans, and he's now with my mom.

i learned so much from my dad. Even though its been 18 years, i continue to learn from his life and death. I learn that it is easier to deal with life, with a sense of humor. I am not afraid of death, nor dying. He accepted both with dignity. i made a LOT of mistakes as a daughter, but not once did he ever hold them over my head. He accepted me as i was. And, he let me make my own mistakes, and i learned from them. I wish that everyone could have as close as a relationship with their father as i had with mine. i also wish, that everyone could have known my dad. What a wonderful human being he was. The one thing that i draw comfort in, is knowing that he's with my mom now, and no longer in pain. RIP daddy. i love you!

Henry J Bosang
Born May 28th, 1923 Pulaski Va
Died Feb 17th, 1991 Santee, CA


jojo said...

beautiful post and a lovely tribute to an obviously well loved "daddy."

by the way...I grew up in Santee.

Debbie Jean said...

Beautiful tribute Deb, to a Dad we all wish we had. I am sure he is watching over you everyday, and is proud of the woman you are. Enjoy your memories.

God Bless~